Tom: I can't focus. I'm jittery. I'm dry mouthed. My ass itches like youcan't imagine. My chest aches. My arms and legs are painful. The schoolnurse said my blood pressure was dangerously high.Dr: She hasn't let you drain her?Tom: No, she got another boyfriend.Dr: Drop your pants so I can remove your erection control device. (click)Tom: Thank you. Dr: Here's a towel to clean yourself.Tom: That feels better.Dr: Clean the device, as well. You know the drill.Tom: It's clean.Dr: Put it back on.Tom: Huh?Dr: Put it back on. You're still under the effects of Annie's come. Ifyou have an erection, it could be very painful.Tom: Ok. (click)Dr: Now please bend over the chair. Oh, I see Annie's really broken youin well. Hold still. Your sphincter is nicely pliable. Not too soft, nottoo hard. In the last few weeks before she broke up with you, did shestay to once per day?Tom: Yes, once per day, but about 2 hours at a time.Dr: Perfect. I'm going to give you an emergency treatment, just like Idid. “It seemed easier” replied the defendant “than shooting a different man every day!”My wife came back from work yesterday and yelled at me “All my friends’ husbands have bought an original pink and brown Juicy handbag!” I replied with a wink “Okay love, but tonight you’ll have to provide some pink and brown for me”. I was astonished when she nodded in agreement. I had always dreamt of this moment and it was finally here and, without fail, I went upstairs that night, and was not disappointed. It was just as good as I had ever imagined. My very own snooker table!I’ve organized a charity night in aid of people who can’t reach orgasm, but don’t worry if you can’t come.Vodka and ice will ruin your kidneys. Rum and ice will ruin your liver. Whiskey and ice will ruin your heart. Gin and ice will ruin your brain. Pepsi and ice will ruin your teeth. There you have it ICE is fucking lethal, lay off the ice and warn all your friends, you could save a life and don’t forget what it did to the poor.
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